Yorkshire joke:A [...]]]> As the saying goes: ‘If you’ve nothing good to say, then say nothing’. So rather than inflict a deluge of Yuletide bad cheer on you, gentle readers, here are some jokes in regional British dialects. If you don’t get them, ask Johnny for an explanation – he has more time on his hands than me.

Yorkshire joke:
A bloke from Yorkshire goes to the jewellers:
He says, “Can tha mek a gold statue o’ mi dog?”.

“Aye, reckon a can,” sez the jeweller.
“Does tha want it eighteen carat?”.

“Neigh,” sez bloke, “I want it chewin’ a bone.”

Courtesy of Popbitch.

Scottish joke:
Wha’s the quickest way tae gie a Scotsman a sex change?
Throw him aff a tall building so he lands wi a fud.

Courtesy of the fitba pundits on Radio Scotland.