Kindle swindle

I’ve been avoiding the Kindle for a while. Not sure why – I really should try and get to grips with such technology, seeing as it’s been about to revolutionise my industry for, oh, about six or seven years now.

I’m really not sure why I dislike e-book readers. I’ve happily junked all my tapes and CDs in favour of digital alternatives. I don’t mind being locked in to itunes since their prices are reasonable, the selection is good, and I’m (mostly) happy with the iPod. I’ve just gotten rid of most of my books (except the ones I need for studying) because I loathe carrying them around every time I move house. I do most of the study for my law degree online, using a web-based platform, downloadable pdfs, PowerPoint slides and MP3s. In theory I should be desperate for something like the Kindle, since it would allow me to get rid of my numerous heavy textbooks and completely de-clutter my life.

But just look at the darn thing. To me it looks like something from Tomorrow’s World circa 1982. And as for the celebrity endorsement …

“This is the future of book reading. It will be everywhere.” Michael Lewis, author of Moneyball and Liar’s Poker.

Hmmm. Not sure I want to be taking advice on how to spend my hard-earned cash from a self-professed money-grabbing swindler, but let’s just gloss over that.

Scroll down the page for more celebrity endorsements. Toni Morrison seems to like it, but then she keeps drifting off mid-sentence in the manner of one who has been kidnapped and heavily sedated. Has anyone seen her lately?

Neil Gaiman, now. I can trust him, surely? He writes comics and stuff. He looks like someone I might try to chat up at a party. But, lo, he has the same slow speech and confused air as Toni. At points I wonder if he is purposely trying to be ridiculous:

“It really is … ummm … it’s intuitive … you know … like a book.”

Thanks Neil. It’s like a book. Like a book that Spock would read on his way up to the Starship Enterprise. Like a book that costs $359 dollars and requires you to pay again for all the books you already paid for. No thanks. Not today.

(Some slightly less reactionary analysis here.)