I’ve been titillating my insomnia with a local history book kindly provided by my dad. It’s called A Salmon for the Schoolhouse and charts the day to day concerns of a 19th century schoolmaster in the village where I grew up. Surprisingly, it seems that schoolmasters of yore were just as plagued by HM Inspectorate as they are today. ‘Surprise’ inspections were quite common, with the visiting Inspector expecting to be wined and dined after passing his judgment. However, this inconvenience was somewhat mitigated by the immense quantities of fresh fish provided for free by the parents of local scholars. (I can honestly say that no pupil of mine has ever presented me with a freshly caught trout.)
For those of you also awake at some ungodly hour I present some selected highlights.
26 November 1880 – storm continues and no children during the week. Twenty inches of snow. 3 December – still no children, measles. 24 December – no holidays were to be given but no children could come anyway.
27 June 1881 – school deficient in inkwells, a clock and suitable maps. Two small forms needed, and a new lock on the schoolroom door.
October 1887 – 30 pupils enrolled but on 21st a few were still at field labour, and on 28th a few were still at potatoes.
January 2nd 1891 – Began a scheme today of giving a cup of coffee to the children at midday.
May 14th 1894 – Inspector’s comment: A new map of Scotland is required and a gate should be placed across the entrance to the school to prevent outsiders getting admission to the playground.*
November 16th 1894 – James Muirhead and Grace Innes both had feet scalded by hot water at home.
December 4th 1894 – Andrew Mackenzie’s unfortunate accident is the only one of any consequence within school hours in 38 years.**
* Hmm, so a preoccupation with prowling pederasts is not unique to the 21st century.
** Don’t worry. He only broke his tibia.
Andrew Mackenzie’s Unfortunate Accident
I like the January 2nd 1891 idea of giving the children coffee.
My children drank coffee from a very young age and other parents often reacted with horror at this “because of the caffeine”, while cheerfully feeding their kids Coke or chocolate. I wish I’d that quote to hand then.
Yes, it is strange isn’t it? There was a vending machine that dispensed fizzy caffeinated drinks right outside my classroom in one school I taught at. At break time the kids would get all fired up, spill juice all over the carpet and the rest of the day would be a complete waste of time as I’d try to restrain them, but my progress would be slowed by my feet adhering to the sticky floor.
Outside my primary school there was a newsagent that had a cigarette vending machine in the street for people to use when the newsagent was closed But smoking wasn’t evil then I suppose.